blackfemalepresident:

old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on

then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources

glrlband:

guys be like “makeup is why you take a bitch swimming on the first date!!!” but sweetie I got that urban decay setting spray ayeeee

humorking:

humorking:

so my cousin took a selfie today 

image

but can we all take a second to appreciate my grandmas face in the background

image

rninor:

weepingdildo:

landorus:

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

"I’ll make you moan, over"

"bend over"
"bend what? over"

putins-boyfriend:

ashestoashesjc:

I regret nearly everything I did between the ages of birth and however old I was yesterday. 

(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
  • them: no
  • me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
  • them: we're not
  • me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this

eclecticwiccan:

IMPORTANT

(Source: incognitomoustache)

1nd2rd3st:

ridge:

do you ever pretend like you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel embarrassed 

495,571 people whose mama taught them right